A Review of Always Listen to Your Mother by Florence Parry Heide and Roxanne Heide Pierce

Lately, there's been some blog chatter about the new satire in children's books—and we're talking picture books. I suspect this ball got rolling in 1989 with the publication of Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith's The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, along with their triumphant follow-up, The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales (1992). Subversive, witty stories are becoming more popular for the picture book crowd, perhaps as much to entertain their parents as to amuse 4- to 6-year-olds. I think we can also give some credit to The Simpsons for educating kids about satire. And then there's the recent wave of paranormals, which is largely attributed to the popularity of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books and movies.

All of which paves the way for Always Listen to Your Mother, a story by Florence Parry Heide and Roxanne Heide Pierce, illustrated by Kyle M. Stone. Then again, Heide has been writing children's books since 1967, including some illustrated by luminaries Edward Gorey, Jules Feiffer, and Lane Smith, and she had the tongue-in-cheek thing down long before the books mentioned above came out. Let's just say, rather, that the time is ripe for a book like this, written by one of the grandmasters (grandmothers?) of smirk and her daughter.

Our story begins with a little boy named Ernest, such a good child! He always, always listens to his mother, so he spends a lot of time doing housework and homework and saying, "Yes, mother." We learn that "Ernest never: spilled, whined, dawdled, talked back, got his own way... or had a good time."

Of course, when new neighbors move in, Ernest asks his mother's permission to go see if they have a child his age he can play with. She says yes because all good mothers "want their children to meet nice children who will be a good influence."

So Ernest rides his bike (the high, old-fashioned penny-farthing kind) across a rather long stretch of terrain to the neighbors' house, which will look suspiciously like a horror story mansion to readers, up to and including the weather overhead.

There is a new boy, and his name is Vlapid. He looks like a cross between Frankenstein's monster and—well, some kind of goblin, with nice gray skin and pointed ears. Only he's shorter. Vlapid also obeys his mother (who may remind you of Elvira and vampires). But his mother's idea of how a child should spend his time is a little different from Ernest's, thank heavens. Her list of "chores" is remarkably vague, and Ernest has the time of his life.

Naturally, Ernest's mother doesn't worry a bit once she hears what an obedient boy the new neighbor child is...

It's all one big joke, but a fun one, and it's wrapped up inside an eerie, antique atmosphere like, um, an elderly beef patty between two early twentieth-century hamburger buns. (My best metaphor ever, no? With its zombie overtones.)

Stone's soft-edged mixed-media illustrations make a nice fit for this clever tale about different parenting styles and what they mean for kids. Just in time for Halloween, but also right on schedule for making family in-jokes about listening to your mother, which is a year-round sport.

A Review of How to Clean Your Room in 10 Easy Steps by Jennifer LaRue Huget and Edward Koren

Okay, this is a very post-modern book, highly self-conscious and satirical, so at first I was a bit suspicious. But then I just started laughing at how perfectly Huget captures the relationship between a kid and her messy room, not to mention the one between said kid and her hair-pulling mother. Tongue-in-cheek and entertaining, the book is beautifully complemented by Edward Koren's famously hairy-looking pen-and-ink artwork, here highlighted with color. (You've seen his New Yorker cartoons, trust me.)

How to Clean Your Room in Ten Easy Steps is framed by a first person narrator, but is mostly written in second person since it's an instruction manual. The girl shows us a clean room, tells us that we really need a messy room to get started, and then shows us the same room on the next spread as a complete disaster. Note the differing facial expressions on the pets and stuffed animals on the clean and messy pages, by the way.

Step One says:

Always wait until your mother hollers, "GET UP THERE AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM—NOW!" using all three of your names.
You can pretend you're too busy to hear.
Or you can answer her. Say, "But my room isn't messy. I know exactly where everything is!"
When she hollers again, you'd better get moving.

Step Two tells you to take out absolutely everything you own, giving readers a list that includes things like "your marbles and your dolls and their eensy-beensy little shoes" before directing you: "Dump it all in the middle of the room. Then plunk yourself down, pick a doll out of the pile, and braid her hair until someone comes up to scream at you again."

Heehee. I can relate to a lot of this, being a hardcore messy room kid myself way back when—and sometimes to this day. (What inbox?)

Watch for how this girl involves her poor little sister in the cleanup project, dumping stuff in the tidier child's room. And the good use she makes of her closet and the space under the bed...

The book is about a girl and talks a little about dolls, but it's not the least bit sweet, and I think boys will have just as much fun with it, especially if they are anti-room cleaning.

The highlight of the book, in my opinion, is the interaction this kid has with her mother regarding the possible disposal of stuffed animals. (I will refrain from spoiling that bit with further details.) And some of you will shudder when you hear our narrator's advice about dealing with food discovered while tidying up.

But mostly, I think you'll laugh. How to Clean Your Room in 10 Easy Steps might just become a family favorite. What's more, as implied by the final sentence, it lends itself to being used as a classroom readaloud and writing prompt, since students could use the book as a launch to writing satirical instructions about other everyday procedures in their lives.

Note for Worried Parents: This book might give your child ideas... But I do hope you have a sense of humor about room cleaning!